i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
