This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
