I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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