Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
