problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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