She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
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