Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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