Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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