So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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