If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
