So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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