That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Holy shit dude........stairs
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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