they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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