if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
