she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize