Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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