I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Randomize
