Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
