I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
