Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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