Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
