Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
