Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
