please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
