Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
