am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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