I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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