hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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