Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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