I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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