escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
