I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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