Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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