glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
