This show inspires me to have sex in space
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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