What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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