fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
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Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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