The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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