She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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