This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
