People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
