So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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