So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
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I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
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I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You were trust falling into bushes
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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