So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
