I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
