that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
why is half of my head shaved?
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