I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
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If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
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I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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