why didn't you poke me back
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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