dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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