another moral hangover. fuck.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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