Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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