He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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