Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
