just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
