wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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