I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Randomize
