Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
